One must understand the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. Husband and wife should always be there for each other in order to share care and love; but intimacy should not be confused with submission. Life partners must give due attention to each others individual rights.
Marriage entails a unique combination of love and hatred. Its like a plant that needs to be watered on a regular basis so that it cam properly grow. Otherwise, it either withers away or entangles the individual lives of the couple in a terrible way.
Husband and wife are not clones. They are individuals having their unique selves as well. This individuality, or difference, is the real beauty of a relationship that has to be respected and appreciated. However, in many relationships the dominating spouse, husband or wife tries to change the partner’s disposition according to his or her personal wishes. In this futile attempt, they often invade each others domain, whish leads to tension, quarrel and even break ups.
Conservative husbands and snooping wives consider it their birth right to know each other and everything about their spouse’s life. They keep on inquiring about each other’s bank balance, official meetings, engagements, friends and even day-to-day activities. The practice of ransacking the wife’s purse, reading her personal diary, and fumbling into husband’s wallet is quite common. One may justify this by saying that he/she wants to be aware of the partner’s activities and contacts. But if this intrusion reaches an extent that keep on calling their partner or office secretary to trace their whereabouts and become suspicious of everything they do, it’s dangerous. Psychologists consider it physical intrusion that reflects one’s insecurity and distrust about one’s partner.
However, almost every one of us experiences some sort of physical, emotional or psychological intrusions in our marital life. I have come across a couple married for fifteen years; often have a fierce fight on tiny issues such as rolling up the car window while driving. They find it difficult to accommodate each other when it comes to TV watching and getting hold of the remote control. These are the tiny issues that can easily be resolved if partners develop the required understanding. The wife can let her husband watch his favorite program, and even try enjoying with him. By doing this she can actually get the freedom to watch her favorite play the next time. Similarly, she can get fresh air by opening the side-window, ventilator of the car fan without actually bothering her partner.
Partners must understand and care about each other’s requirements and accordingly define their boundaries. They must comprehend that after a tough day, a working man or wife needs leisure, relaxation and comfort. In that scenario, the ear splitting volume of TV, shrieking threats to children prove to be a psychological intrusion that simply keeps the person away from the house.
Couples must also understand each other’s psychological and emotional needs. The husband should understand why it’s important that once in a while his wife should get away from household chores, children and even from him to meet friends, cousins and sisters for hours. She must also get a chance to frequently read, write, stitch, paint, visit the gym, shop and socialize. Similarly, the wife must understand that her husband has a right to spend some time with his friends, play tennis or watch a game without any interference.
So, one can safely infer that sharing, caring, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness are the keys to a successful marriage.
Marriage entails a unique combination of love and hatred. Its like a plant that needs to be watered on a regular basis so that it cam properly grow. Otherwise, it either withers away or entangles the individual lives of the couple in a terrible way.
Husband and wife are not clones. They are individuals having their unique selves as well. This individuality, or difference, is the real beauty of a relationship that has to be respected and appreciated. However, in many relationships the dominating spouse, husband or wife tries to change the partner’s disposition according to his or her personal wishes. In this futile attempt, they often invade each others domain, whish leads to tension, quarrel and even break ups.
Conservative husbands and snooping wives consider it their birth right to know each other and everything about their spouse’s life. They keep on inquiring about each other’s bank balance, official meetings, engagements, friends and even day-to-day activities. The practice of ransacking the wife’s purse, reading her personal diary, and fumbling into husband’s wallet is quite common. One may justify this by saying that he/she wants to be aware of the partner’s activities and contacts. But if this intrusion reaches an extent that keep on calling their partner or office secretary to trace their whereabouts and become suspicious of everything they do, it’s dangerous. Psychologists consider it physical intrusion that reflects one’s insecurity and distrust about one’s partner.
However, almost every one of us experiences some sort of physical, emotional or psychological intrusions in our marital life. I have come across a couple married for fifteen years; often have a fierce fight on tiny issues such as rolling up the car window while driving. They find it difficult to accommodate each other when it comes to TV watching and getting hold of the remote control. These are the tiny issues that can easily be resolved if partners develop the required understanding. The wife can let her husband watch his favorite program, and even try enjoying with him. By doing this she can actually get the freedom to watch her favorite play the next time. Similarly, she can get fresh air by opening the side-window, ventilator of the car fan without actually bothering her partner.
Partners must understand and care about each other’s requirements and accordingly define their boundaries. They must comprehend that after a tough day, a working man or wife needs leisure, relaxation and comfort. In that scenario, the ear splitting volume of TV, shrieking threats to children prove to be a psychological intrusion that simply keeps the person away from the house.
Couples must also understand each other’s psychological and emotional needs. The husband should understand why it’s important that once in a while his wife should get away from household chores, children and even from him to meet friends, cousins and sisters for hours. She must also get a chance to frequently read, write, stitch, paint, visit the gym, shop and socialize. Similarly, the wife must understand that her husband has a right to spend some time with his friends, play tennis or watch a game without any interference.
So, one can safely infer that sharing, caring, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness are the keys to a successful marriage.
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